Why am I doing this?

I suppose you might be wondering why I've decided to take such drastic action to lose weight. I must admit, it hasn't been an easy decision to make at all. I've thought about it on and off for about five years, I always thought I wasn't really fat enough to warrant surgery. I've always had a weight problem, but in the past I have always been able to lose weight through diet when I put my mind to it. I seemed to lose this ability when I turned 35 and now I'm over 40 I can't seem to shift it at all.

The real problem is, I have a disability which has got much, much worse over the last few years - mainly because I seem to have gained about a stone a year for the last 3 years. I have problems with my legs and having all the excess weight is just putting them and my back under unnecessary pressure. When you consider that I can't exercise to lose weight, you can see how my problem has been compounded. I can't run, I can't cycle, I can't row - the only aerobic exercise I can do is swimming and even then I need someone with me as it is difficult to get from the changing room to the pool safely on a slippery floor. So, I've found myself in a vicious circle I can't exercise so I put on weight, once I've put on weight I can do even less activity. I can't walk anywhere near as far as I used to because my back starts to really hurt and I end up almost in tears. It is restricting my life so much, I can't sit back and ignore it any longer. If I continue to gain weight at the current rate, I will be in a wheelchair within two years which is just plain stupid.

I was really shocked when I mentioned banding to my GP, I thought she would say I wasn't fat enough - who was I kidding!!! She thought it was such a good idea, she suggested applying to the PCT for NHS funding. It took two months for them to turn it down - apparently there is nothing to suggest I would gain significantly from it!!! I thought about appealing - I'm sure they would over turn what is clearly a ridiculous decision - but I'd already lost two months, it would probably take another two months or more to appeal and then you end up on a waiting list for ages - all the time gaining more weight. Add to that the risk of picking up an infection in an NHS hospital - don't get me wrong, I'm not criticising I think the NHS is fantastic, I would never have walked without their care, but the risk is very real.

Fortunately, I'm in a position where I can afford to fund myself at a push, so here I am 6 days away from surgery. I'm really hoping this works for me. There is so much riding on this.