I am alive - but don't feel very lively!!

Yes, I am alive but not sure which way is up at the moment!

I can't believe I haven't posted for so long, the time is racing away with me and I can hardly believe that my wedding is only five weeks away.

It has been a tough few weeks as I haven't been sleeping properly for ages, I can't get off to sleep and when I do drop off, I wake up in the early hours - wide awake!!  I am totally exhausted. Hence, I've taken today and yesterday off work as I needed to rest and I am feeling lots better. 

The wedding plans are under control and my family in Australia are slowly starting to arrive in the UK which is brilliant.

I had the interview for the job two weeks ago and heard on Friday that I didn't get it - I was devastated as I thought it had gone very well.  Apparently there was another candidate who totally rocked them.  You never can tell, your interview may have gone really well (the feedback was that there was nothing for me to improve on, I was just beaten by a better candidate) but you don't know how anyone else has got on.

Lots to look forward to when I can muster the energy!

I started the year so well!!!

It has been manic these last few weeks and I am so sorry that I haven't blogged for a month - where did that time go?!!!

Work has been totally mad, there was one day at the beginning of Feb (which shall be forever remembered as Black Wednesday) when I was the only member of HR on site and everyone went mad.  Three people had to be suspended for misconduct in the space of about an hour (all have since been dismissed),  I was in one meeting suspending an employee with the another manager waiting outside to drag me off to suspend the next one!!  I can't believe I only have about 8 weeks left on my contract (although they have asked me to work on for a few weeks beyond the end date).  I must say, I am looking forward to it all being over, I'm not really enjoying the job if I am totally honest.

The good news is that I have got an interview for the job I mentioned in my last post - I only heard on Tuesday so it has taken a while and the interview isn't until 8th March so they are taking a while - fingers crossed as I would really like this job.

Wedding plans are taking over my life.  Since my last post, I have bought my tiara, outfits for both my little bridesmaids and shoes for one (need to take the other one to try some on).  I'm having more weird anxiety dreams about the wedding, last night I dreamt I was in the Bridal suite trying to get ready but couldn't get in the bathroom as the door was locked from the inside.  I was getting very irate and then lost it, screaming that the wedding should have happened three-quarters of an hour ago!!!  Goodness knows what that was all about!

More good news is that, although Bertie has been loosened, I haven't piled on the weight.  I have put back on the weight I lost so rapidly over Christmas but I am just back to where I was before.  I'll be happy to stay like this now until after the honeymoon and then have him tightened a little bit again.

I can't believe that my wedding is less than 9 weeks away now - yikes so much still to do!!  My family in Australia will start arriving soon - I can't wait to see them.

It's all go!

It is manic at the moment (story of my life!), not only am I up to my eyes with wedding plans but the dog has been in for an op and a potential new, permanent, job has come up - ARGHH!!!

The dog had to have a lump removed from one of her back legs on Monday.  I was stressed out as I didn't really want her having to go through another operation (she had a benign lump removed back in June).  She was fine and has come through it all with no real problems.  The vet rang me yesterday with the results of the biopsy.  It was a cancerous tumour but very low grade and they managed to remove it all so there is only a very small risk of it returning.  However, we do need to keep an eye out for any more lumps just incase - I know I'm going to be paranoid, very scary.

I am very excited that a job has come up which sounds exactly like the job I did at my last company.  I miss the job (but not the people or the commute) so fingers crossed for me.  I would love to get myself settled into a nice permanent job to start off married life.  I'll keep you posted!

The wedding plans are stepping up!  I had my hair trial today and it was exactly what I was hoping for.  It is starting to come together really nicely now and I am starting to get a good picture of what the day will be like!

One week on ...

Well, its been a week since I had the de-fill and I haven't piled the pounds on.  I have put two pounds since last Tuesday but I expected something like that as I only lost the weight because I wasn't eating hardly at all.

I'm going to keep a close eye on things and I'm trying to keep to the same portion sizes that I was eating when I had tighter restriction.  Hopefully, I can keep it going until after the honeymoon and then have a small fill to get the weight going again.

We had the planning meeting with the wedding venue yesterday.  It all went well.  We went for lunch with my parents afterwards and my mum said how nice it was to see me eating properly for a change.

Lots happening at the moment but all good!!

Ahh ... that's better!!

I've just managed a small meal with comfort - bliss!!! I feel so much better already.

1ml down!

The nurse has taken 1ml of fluid out of my band.  She thinks there may have been a blockage and now there is some swelling.  I'll see how this goes, I may need some more out or possibly an x-ray if there is no improvement.  If things improve, I can have some more put in.

Fingers crossed, I won't start piling on the pounds too quickly.  It feels a bit better, I haven't tried eating yet, that will be the true test!

Hospital appointment

Just arrived at the hospital to see the bariatric nurse. I rang her this morning to tell her about the problems with Bertie and she asked me to come in ... Guess she'll be taking some fluid out. Hope that will make me feel better!