Well, despite being exhausted last night, I have had a very early start this morning. I was awake at about 5am, then my boyfriend was up at 6am for work. I managed to drift off to sleep again but was woken by the phone at 6.45am. It was my boyfriend to tell me that there was an abandoned van blocking our driveway. He'd moved it to get out but thought I ought to know as it was probably stolen and we should be cautious!! Anyway, the police got here about 7 and the tow truck has only just arrived. It has caused chaos as we live on a country lane which is the main route in and out of the village.
I'm feeling better today, I think I was just stunned by the hospital. They have said all along that there would be help for me but when they came to do the referral it turns out I am too old at 43. The limit is 42. I feel particularly frustrated as my birthday was January so my age hasn't changed since they first saw me and I expected age to be an issue back in April but when they were so positive with what they could do for us I didn't give it another thought.
We do have the option to pay privately for treatment and we need to give that some serious consideration. The problem is, the hospital were talking about less invasive intervention than IVF which I was happy about as we had decided to draw the line at IVF for fear of chasing unobtainable dreams. Now, I'm thinking if we are going to pay for treatment we would be better investing in IVF as it may give us a greater chance of success and I'm not sure I am able to put myself through that rollercoaster. The consultant told me yesterday that my chances of getting pregnant with IVF are 10% and actually having a baby is only 5% which at £2-4k a go is almost akin to flushing the money away, not to mention the emotional trauma it could cause. All along I have said I didn't want to become so obsessed with it that I had no where to go if it didn't happen and now I just don't know what to do.
I need to count my blessings and remember that there are so many people in this world who have had to come to terms with not becoming parents. I suppose I just hoped it would happen somehow!
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Hi hun, I was sorry to hear about them saying you couldn't have fertility treatment on the NHS - how rubbish for you. It sounds like it is going to be very hard for you to conceive so you're going to have to really think about that money - I can't believe how expensive it is!!
Have you considered adoption/fostering at all? I seem to think you said you moved to Newport and there are loads of kids around that need help - I guess it could be an option.
Big hugs.
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