Size 14 pants!!!

I can't believe I forgot to post this!!

A few years ago, when I was starting one of my many, many diets, I was in M&S underwear department. They were doing one of their buy 3 pairs of pants for £10 so I thought I would buy a size 16, a size 14 and a size 12 to grow down to. I've been wearing the size 16 for a while and thought I'd try the size 14 on Saturday.

YES!! They fitted!! I don't think anything else in a size 14 will fit just yet, but I don't care

Getting to grips with Bertie

Well, I've had an interesting weekend with Bertie, one minute he is letting me eat almost as before and the next minute he is being very vicious! I can't really complain as that is what I bought him for but it would be nice to know when I will be able to eat and when I won't!

The scary thing is that I seem to be having a problem with wine, even white is occasionally a bit acidy - this is my biggest fear, wine is my indulgence!!

The scales have stuck at two pounds down since the fill but I feel different so I am sure the scales will catch up eventually.

I had a lovely meal out with my friend on Friday, we both had tapas and thoroughly enjoyed it.

I'm excited as we've just booked to go to Ireland for a week at the end of September. My mum is Irish and I have a lot of family and friends over there who I don't get to see very often. My boyfriend hasn't been to that part of Ireland before and hasn't met most of the family so that will be an interesting experience for him!!

It's working ...

Another one bites the dust - pound that is - and the scales were teetering on another one, all good stuff!. I have now lost 36 pounds which is one third of the total amount I want to lose. It is actually two pounds since the fill as I had put one on. I've updated my ticker - it is bringing a smile to my face, I can tell you!

I am amazed at how different things are now, I just know I cannot manage a lot of food but I can eat a reasonable amount. I am struggling with wine which is a bit of a worry but I'll just see how that goes.

I am going out for a meal with a friend tomorrow night. I was a bit anxious about it, being so soon after my fill. However, I've booked a mediterranean style restaurant which does tappas, so I am hoping I can get away with ordering a few small dishes. Fortunately, this friend knows about Bertie so at least I won't be trying to hide his existence!

Learning curve!

It's been an interesting day or so ... Bertie has settled down to some extent and, I must be honest, is not as vicious as I was dreading.

Having said that, things are different. The lump in my throat has subsided but I do feel quite full most of the time. Occasionally, I feel what I would describe as 'lower stomach hunger'. That is, I feel as though I am hungry but I also feel as though I won't be able to eat as my 'top stomach' won't let it through. I am also finding that I feel I want/need to burp (a common occurrence with a band) but I can't and I end up worrying that I am going to be sick.

I really know that Bertie will allow me to eat enough to feel satisfied but won't let me eat too much. Looking back now I realise I was able to push him further than I should have, for example, I could pack away quite a few biscuits with my cup of tea before but now I know I couldn't. This is what I signed up for, I think I've found my 'sweet spot' - lets just see how the weight is going before I get too excited! My food intake today has been, a skinny latte for breakfast, a small packet of Quavers, some crackers and Philly, a Mullerlight yoghurt, two malted milk biscuits, some mashed potato with grated cheese and a choc ice. I'm now supping a glass of white wine feeling very full - I'm not even sure the wine will all go down!!

I had a strange experience last night, I was lying in bed and my chest started gurgling. I know it is Bertie and probably because he is tighter and not letting any trapped wind come up but it was very strange. I was telling one of the girls in work today, she is five months pregnant and said that is exactly what happens to her at night. She thinks it's to do with the stomach being restricted.

I will weight myself in the morning and post later. I'm hoping to see some results!!

O M G ! ! ! !

Hold on to your hats, Bertie is taking no prisoners!!

This is the fill that I think is going to get me losing weight consistently. I have spent the last few days feeling totally full with a lump in my throat. I've had to make myself eat as I know I need something in my stomach.

Today, all I've managed is two pots of fromage frais, one muller light yoghurt, some mashed potato with grated cheese and a chocolate pudding (eaten to try to get some calories in!).

I know it will settle down a bit after a day or so, but this one is different and I think it will keep me quite restricted for some time.

Still there is always the blessing of a nice cup of tea!! Bertie likes tea, he finds it soothing!

I had to buy some new (smaller) jeans today, I knew that the ones I bought in May were really too big - I couldn't wear them without a belt (which made them look all bunched up) and still had to keep hoicking them up but I discovered last night that I could get them on and off without undoing them and thought enough is enough!!

I am very pleased!!!

Filled!!

I've done it, I had my fill this morning and so far I'm doing okay!

It was great to see the nurse and have a chance to ask her lots of questions. She only gave me half a mil of fill which I think was probably plenty. I'm now on fluids for 24 hours and then onto soft foods for a few days. I am aware that it is tighter as I have a slight feeling of tightness in my chest. I'm pretty sure that I won't be able to eat much when I start again but that's what it's all about!

After the fill, my mum and I went shopping at the Mall. It was lovely to spend some quality time with my mum. I bought two new tops (well, my mum bought one for me!!) they were both size 16 which is progress.

Then I came home to find red roses waiting for me from my boyfriend. He's at work but I'm really looking forward to him coming home!

We're going to a friend's birthday tomorrow, don't think I will be able to eat anything but I'm sure I'll cope!

Whoosh!!!

That is the only word I can use to describe my life since the last post!!

I went back to work on Monday which was a bit of a shock to the system! Within a few hours I didn't feel as though I'd been away. I was hoping to ease myself back gently and only take on a few cases over the week but within 48 hours I was up to the same level of cases as everyone else. Mind you, to be honest, I prefer to be busy. The office politics are annoying but I'm just keeping to myself!!

They have appointed someone to the team leader position who I really like and get on very well with so I am delighted. She moves across a week on Monday and I can't wait.

I am very tired now though so glad to have the weekend to recover. Although, I can't laze about in the morning as I have to be in Bristol for my band fill at 11. My mum wants to come with me so I'm going to have to leave earlier and pick her up on the way. I am excited but a little bit apprehensive at the thought of my band fill. I will be really chuffed to see the weight shifting more quickly but a bit nervous about how that may impact on me.

I'll try to post tomorrow to let you know how I got on!

Where did the week go?

Well, it has been a very busy week!

I've had friends over on three days this week which has been lovely! Two of them hadn't seen the house before and loved it.

We also went car hunting on Wednesday. I have a car through the Motability leasing scheme and my current car goes back at the beginning of November so I have to order a new one three months in advance to ensure there are no gaps in the leasing. We had narrowed it down to a Passat or a BMW Three Series so went to test drive them both. The trouble was I preferred the Passat and my boyfriend preferred the BMW. So we ended up with a Volvo - not quite sure how that happened!! We both really liked it and it had the space of the Passat with the power of the BMW. It was so funny though because we turned up at the dealership at 4pm, we looked at the car and then the salesman offered us a test drive. He got us all settled in the car, which was brand new with a full tank of petrol and Sat Nav and then said I'll see you when you get back. He let us take this car on our own without asking for ID or even to see our driving licences!!

My parents got home from their holiday yesterday so we went to Heathrow to pick them up. It was so lovely to see them after such a long time. They are catching up on some sleep and will be coming over this afternoon to see the house.

I'm doomed!!!

I'm so disappointed ... I've had to postpone my band fill!

Over the weekend, I noticed that the scar which still had the stitch under the skin was sore and had a lump underneath it. I've been to the doctor this morning and I have an infection so he's put me on antibiotics.

When I got home and took one of the tablets I realised that they will never go down if I have my band filled as they are like horse tablets!!! So, reluctantly, I've moved the fill to Saturday 15th but I am disappointed!

So, no band fill and no alcohol to drown my sorrows!!