Panic Stations!

Had a bit of a scare tonight! All is fine now, but I was very worried earlier.

I managed to get home from work early - the joy of flexitime!! Settled down to watch the Murray match on telly and started to get a cramping pain in my stomach. I ignored it for a while and then felt it was becoming too persistent. I thought I would go upstairs and see if I felt better lying down. As I was going up the stairs I started to feel a bit clammy and shaky.

I got to my bedroom and laid on the bed but by this time I was in full flight and could not get comfortable whatever I did. I thought it was something to do with the wonderful yoghurt diet! So I rang the nurse from the multi-disciplinary team to check whether it was something that happens sometimes. She said she had never heard of that happening and perhaps I should ring my doctor.

I decided to ring NHS Direct first and they were very good, they took a few details and then (probably because I was crying down the phone in pain) put me straight through to a nurse. She asked loads of questions and said she thought it wasn't anything serious but could be a combination of the diet, possibly a bit of dehydration and a bit of anxiety. I'm not convinced but I'm not sure what it was exactly; fortunately, it did subside after about an hour.

She also recommended Ibuprofen and, if necessary, paracetamol. Fortunately, I managed to avoid taking these - can't think they would be beneficial to my liver and I'm not wrecking all my hard work this week! I was in severe pain but do you know what was going through my mind? All I could think about was, they'd better be able to do my operation on Wednesday cos I'm not going through the ruddy yoghurt diet again!!!

I'm fine now, although a little tender. I'm going to go to bed once I've finished this post and try to get a good night's sleep. I'm on the late turn tomorrow at work so I don't have to get in until 10am which makes life a little easier.

By the way, managed to catch the last half of the tennis - cracking match, I really thought he was on his way out!!!

Struggling on!

Well, I've survived the weekend without ditching the diet - not sure how, mind you! I kept a low profile yesterday and didn't move far from my sofa.

The problem is, yoghurt or fromage frais does not leave you feeling full for very long so you practically have to constantly graze on it to prevent feeling hungry. I don't think I will stomach another yoghurt for a very long time! My boyfriend has been brilliant. He came over yesterday tea time, I was really fancying an Onken Rhubarb and Vanilla yoghurt (for the uninitiated, these are gorgeous!!) but my local Sainsbury's don't stock them - so I asked him to get one from his local Tesco. He was going somewhere else on the way to me and was likely to be a few hours so he said he would stop at one nearer my house so it didn't go off - how thoughtful. He was a bit amazed when I downed a full tub pretty quickly!!

We went out today for a few hours which was nice - took my mind off yoghurt at least!

I'm just off to bed now, only two more days of yoghurt - whohoo!! Then I have a week of more or less fluids and then I should be able to start eating normal textured food - bring it on!!

Three down, four to go....

I am not a good person to be around today!

The restricted diet is seriously getting to me. I feel hungry and I am truly sick of the sight of yoghurt. It probably doesn't help that I am trying to go to work as normal when I am not eating proper food and I am trying to get everything sorted out before I go off for two weeks.

I am getting the spooks about the operation too - am I doing the right thing?!! It doesn't help that I've just had a drunken phone call from the other half (actually he's hilarious when he gets drunk as it doesn't happen that often!!), he's out with his mates and called me to say he's fine and will be home late (we don't live together but he normally calls once he's home to say goodnight). I was feeling a bit sorry for myself and because he's had a drink he asked me if I'd thought it through properly as it's not going to be easy once its in place. I've tried to talk to him about it before but he's a typical bloke and not good at talking about anything serious. Bless him, he has been very supportive throughout this so far, he's even taking me in to hospital on Wednesday, he's just not great at talking - but what bloke is?!!!

I know he's right, it won't be easy but I really have got to do this (see previous post). I'm sure its the right thing to do. When I met the nurse on my initial consultation she took one look at me and said you don't have a choice about this, you have got to do it. She's had a band herself so she knows what she's talking about. I had a breast reduction nearly 6 years ago and I remember feeling very confused before that, thinking why am I putting myself through an 'unnecessary' operation. At the time, I could hardly stand up straight due to the weight of my breasts. Turns out it was one of the best things I've ever had done and have never regretted it for an instant.

I'm hoping that I will look back at this post in a few months time and think, what was I worrying about?!!

Why am I doing this?

I suppose you might be wondering why I've decided to take such drastic action to lose weight. I must admit, it hasn't been an easy decision to make at all. I've thought about it on and off for about five years, I always thought I wasn't really fat enough to warrant surgery. I've always had a weight problem, but in the past I have always been able to lose weight through diet when I put my mind to it. I seemed to lose this ability when I turned 35 and now I'm over 40 I can't seem to shift it at all.

The real problem is, I have a disability which has got much, much worse over the last few years - mainly because I seem to have gained about a stone a year for the last 3 years. I have problems with my legs and having all the excess weight is just putting them and my back under unnecessary pressure. When you consider that I can't exercise to lose weight, you can see how my problem has been compounded. I can't run, I can't cycle, I can't row - the only aerobic exercise I can do is swimming and even then I need someone with me as it is difficult to get from the changing room to the pool safely on a slippery floor. So, I've found myself in a vicious circle I can't exercise so I put on weight, once I've put on weight I can do even less activity. I can't walk anywhere near as far as I used to because my back starts to really hurt and I end up almost in tears. It is restricting my life so much, I can't sit back and ignore it any longer. If I continue to gain weight at the current rate, I will be in a wheelchair within two years which is just plain stupid.

I was really shocked when I mentioned banding to my GP, I thought she would say I wasn't fat enough - who was I kidding!!! She thought it was such a good idea, she suggested applying to the PCT for NHS funding. It took two months for them to turn it down - apparently there is nothing to suggest I would gain significantly from it!!! I thought about appealing - I'm sure they would over turn what is clearly a ridiculous decision - but I'd already lost two months, it would probably take another two months or more to appeal and then you end up on a waiting list for ages - all the time gaining more weight. Add to that the risk of picking up an infection in an NHS hospital - don't get me wrong, I'm not criticising I think the NHS is fantastic, I would never have walked without their care, but the risk is very real.

Fortunately, I'm in a position where I can afford to fund myself at a push, so here I am 6 days away from surgery. I'm really hoping this works for me. There is so much riding on this.

Guess what !!!

I stood on the scales this morning (I know, I couldn't help it!!!) and I jumped straight off again in shock!! They claim that I lost 3lbs in one day!!!! Liar!!!! I went and had my shower and sneaked back up on them 10 minutes later and they told the same lie - that can't be right, can it??

I have to admit, despite this success, I am struggling a bit with the diet regime. Its not that I don't like yoghurt or fromage frais but it just doesn't feel like food - if you know what I mean! I find I am grazing on them all day just to stop myself feeling hungry. I miss proper food!!!! It's okay at the moment as I'm busy at work but I'm dreading the weekend, I think it will be unbearable!! Perhaps I'll just stay in bed.

This is gonna be tough!

Day one on the yummy yoghurt diet ... I'm not sure if I am going to manage this ... I am craving solid food.

Started off for work with a lunch bag crammed with fromage frais and yoghurt. I managed to work my way through one yoghurt drink, two fromage frais and five yoghurts! I didn't feel hungry as such but I didn't feel satisfied either. Since getting home, I've had two more fromage frais and two large pots of yoghurt - I am desperate for something to bite into.

I keep thinking that I am not going to get proper textured food for over two weeks - yikes!!!

The Condemned Woman . . . .

Food has been eaten, fridge has been cleared, yoghurt has been bought!

Yes, I'm ready for a week of yummy yoghurt.

It is now 10.15pm and I am still not feeling an urge to stuff myself in the next 1hr 45mins - have I turned a corner already? How much weight do you think I will lose in one week of yummy yoghurt? Watch this space!

The Countdown begins

Just over a week to go until surgery, my op is on 2nd July. I have to start my special diet this Wednesday so only one more day of 'normal' eating - yes, yoghurt and fromage frais for me, oh joy!

As I've already said, I don't feel a burning urge to stuff myself silly. Having said that, I did have quite a busy end to last week eating out Thursday, Friday and Saturday! It wasn't really planned like that and I didn't go mad, except on Saturday when we went to a lovely pub and the food was sooooo good! I felt really stuffed when I got home - actually, I felt a bit uncomfortable and it did cross my mind that I won't be able to do that to myself in the future which is not an entirely bad thing!!

I decided today to tell my immediate work colleagues what is happening. I think it will be easier for me with the special diet if I don't have to make up stories about why I'm doing it. They were brilliant, they think I will start a new fad in the wider department if I am seen eating just yoghurt and then lose tonnes of weight - you heard it here first, the new Yoghurt Diet!!! They have been very supportive and genuinely interested in the process which really helps.

Well, that's the worst bit over!

Had the endoscopy today - which went as well as could be expected. It is not really a pleasant experience but it wasn't too bad. All over and done with in 15 minutes, then back to my room to sleep off the sedation.

I met my surgeon for the first time today, he came to talk me through the procedure and also talk about the operation. He was lovely, he gave me a lot of information and did not rush through things at all. I feel a lot better having met him and having got the endoscopy out of the way.

The worst part was not being able to eat until after it was done. Normally, I'm not particularly hungry in the morning, but I think once you are told you can't eat anything you are immediately starving! I was up eating cereal at 1am! I have NEVER been a nocturnal eater but I felt peckish and thought I'd better have something while I was still allowed!

It was really nice to have my own room, my other half was able to wait in relative comfort. They even brought me lunch afterwards which was unexpected and much appreciated!

I am actually almost excited to be getting on with things now.

Tests and restrictions

I'm due to have the final test done prior to the op, this is a gastroscopy which is being done on Friday. I can't eat anything for five hours beforehand which really means the night before, unless I want to have my breakfast at 4am!! I think this test is probably the worst part of the whole thing. I had one of these done before, about 10 years ago, and it wasn't exactly pleasant. At least for the op you are totally out of it. I will be having sedation for the procedure but from what I remember last time, you are still aware of what is happening.

Once that has been done, the next hurdle is managing on yoghurt and fromage frais for a week before the surgery - yikes!! Apparently, it helps shrink your liver which makes the operation easier for the surgeon. Personally, I think it is to stop us fatties killing ourselves with food before we get on the operating table! I'm quite surprised how good I am being about not stuffing myself - although that may change as I get nearer to my normal food deadline.

After all this, I'm begining to think having a band will be a doddle!

Hello and Welcome

Well, here goes!! I've never considered posting a blog before but I thought I would take the plunge and give it a whirl!

I am two weeks away from having a gastric band fitted in order to help me lose all the excess weight I have gained in the last ten years. I thought I would start this blog because in my research into this procedure I could not find a blog to give me an honest account of what it is like - mind you, that may say more about my computer skills than anything else! I also thought this might be interesting for me to look back at in the future to see the journey on which I am about to embark.

I am both excited and nervous at the prospect before me. The idea of surgery doesn't really bother me, I have had more than my fair share over the years and I know the drill. It is more the change to my lifestyle that this operation is going to bring. I think I am as ready as I can be to embrace the changes that are about to take place - but what if I'm not, I can't just turn around and say 'Sorry, my mistake, please take it out again'. Once it's in, it's in and I'll just have to get on with it.

I'd be really interested in hearing from any experienced bandsters who can give me an insight into what I'm about to experience - or may be I'm better off in total ignorance!!! Are you sensing my confusion here!!!

I've decided to keep my identity hidden for the time being at least mainly because I am not yet sure how much information I want to share with people who actually know me. Not because I'm trying to do a 'Fern' (with whom, incidently, I have total sympathy), but because I don't want to be scrutinised by people. I expect as I lose weight I will end up telling people how it is happening - I am a bit of a blabber mouth!

At least I hope my identity is hidden, I'm so new at this lark I'm not even sure!!