What a day!!

Thank God it's Friday!!! I know it is a cliche but it is heartfelt!!

Well, I found out today that my job is safe - I know I should feel happy about that but I feel very flat and low. The reason for that is two of my colleagues have been told that their jobs are being made redundant. I've been in this situation before - on both sides and I can honestly say it is not easier being the on the 'safe' side. In some ways, it is easier to be the one going because it is okay to be angry.

The atmosphere in work has been quite tense - understandably.

I've also got a pig of a case going on which really needs my full concentration and that is difficult to give at the moment.

So, I am sitting here waiting for my cottage pie to warm in the oven and I have a large glass of white wine on the go - probably not the only one that will go down tonight!!

Bit of a whirlwind!

Well, my birthday passed without much drama yesterday! Although, I am getting worried at the number of them I'm managing to clock up! My parents took me and my boyfriend out for a meal. His parents were planning to join us but unfortunately, his father was not well so they had to dip out.

I had today off work as I knew I wouldn't want to have to get up after our night out. We didn't do much today. I had to get some photos done for my new disabled parking badge - we ended up having to chase around a bit which was frustrating.

It has all gone a bit quiet on the house front which is driving me mad but I suppose we just have to grin and bear it.

My weight is steadfast at the moment - I guess that is better than going up! I have another meal out tomorrow night and then my boyfriend is taking me out for another birthday meal on Saturday. I'm struggling a little with all this food - I didn't eat all my meal last night but I still felt very bloated during the night. I'll take it steady over the next few days.

Normality restored - almost!!

Well, my doctor is a genius!! I've only taken the tablets on two nights but I am definitely feeling better. I am not having so many anxiety attacks and when I do, they are not as severe or frightening. I'm also sleeping a bit better. I have had a pain in my neck for most of the week which I think is also linked to the stress and this isn't going but I am able to cope with that.

Work isn't getting any easier! Unbelieveably, now I am not only at risk of redundancy but if I'm not made redundant I could be transfered to another company!! I just can't think about that at the moment!

We are expecting to complete in the next 2-3 weeks and that is when I am going to be under pressure. I need to move my stuff out of this house but I can't move directly to the new house as there is work that needs to be done first. So my belongings might be in the new house and I might be living between my parents and my boyfriends houses for a few weeks (lets hope it's not longer than that!) - this is why I am feeling so stressed. Oh and I have an 8,000 word management report to submit by the middle of May!!

My weight is not budging but it is time of the month. I mentioned to my mum that I might have Bertie tightened in early Feb and she was very adamant that now would not be a good time due to the stress I am already under. I think she has a point but I don't want to keep making excuses.

It is my birthday this Tuesday - I haven't really registered that fact because there is too much going on elsewhere!!

More like me...

Oh dear, I've just read last night's post and I think I was feeling a bit down!!! I'm feeling more like me today, although I am still very tired.

I saw the doctor and he has prescribed me a very short course of tablets to help me relax in the evening. He was absolutely lovely, I felt like a right mad woman but he told me what I was going through was completely normal.

I'm off out for an hour to see a friend I used to work with. I am looking forward to seeing her as I haven't seen her for a few months and she has been quite poorly.

Exhausted!

I think the stress of the last few weeks is taking its toll. I am not sleeping well at all and I am having what I can only describe as anxiety attacks. I keep having a mental image of me falling downstairs and breaking my leg - very painfully! I see it happening at my home, my boyfriends home and the new house. I've had a similar thing happen before when I was under stress. The problem is, it seems to take hold when I am trying to switch off and it is really disturbing. I haven't slept properly for the last two nights. I've got an appointment to see the doctor in the morning (7.10am!!!) and I am hoping he will give me something to help me relax and switch off.

The house is gradually edging closer which is fantastic.

BREAKING NEWS!!!!

My boyfriend has just phoned to say the mortgage offer arrived today!!!!!!! We just have to sign it and send it back. I'm over there later today so we will get it on its way.

WHOHOO!!!

Mini victory!

Thank goodness it is finally Saturday, it seems to have been a long time coming!

I only worked a half day yesterday, which was nice! I had my redundancy preference meeting which was okay - hopefully I should know by the end of next week if I am confirmed in the alternative role, so fingers crossed!

In the afternoon, I went to the hospital to help with a course they run for prospective orthopaedic consultants. I do it twice a year and it is really interesting. They run the course and then get patients in with unusual or complicated conditions and they have to diagnose them. My condition is pretty rare in itself but the way in which I have it makes it even rarer - I am only affected in my legs whereas it is more common to have it in both arms and legs. It threw a few of them yesterday! It is good fun and I really enjoy it, although the candidates are starting to look very young to me!!!

My mini victory relates to this. I always take a pair of shorts with me because it makes it easier to show them my legs without flashing my knickers at them! They are elasticated shorts which come down to just above my knees. I have had to struggled to get them over my hips for a couple of years and when they were on they were quite tight over my thighs. I haven't tried them on since I was on holiday last April when I took them straight off because they looked so dreadful on me. Anyway, I grabbed them out of the cupboard just before I left and didn't really think about it until I put them on at the hospital. They slipped straight over my hips with no effort at all and they were baggy around my thighs - I couldn't believe the difference and I couldn't stop smiling to myself! It is definitely working!!

No news on the house - ARGHHHH!!!!! I just want to know that the mortgage is all agreed and we can start negotiating completion dates!

Steady Eddie!

No weight loss to report this week, I've stayed the same. I expect it will drop down tomorrow because Bertie is taking no prisoners this week! I'm still having to eat cautiously.

No news from the mortgage company - I really thought we might have heard something today. We are getting a more detailed homebuyers survey done tomorrow - it was cheaper to go directly to a surveyor than to pay through the mortgage company. I'm sure it will be fine but this is the one that might put us off if it highlights major work that needs to be done. The one we got back yesterday only talked in terms of updating which we know already - its hardly rocket science!

I can't wait for this time tomorrow, this week seems to have gone on forever - I am so tired!!!!

Getting excited ...!

We got the results of the valuation report from the surveyor today. It all looks good although we haven't heard from the mortgage company yet. He has valued it at the price we have paid which is fine. I am getting so excited now I can hardly sit still - that's going to make the next few weeks difficult if I don't calm down! I'm hoping that we will get an update from the mortgage company tomorrow which will allow us to move things forward. I'm going to start a sweepstake on our completion date soon!

Bartholemew band is still being a bit mean. I haven't managed to eat much all day, although the scales don't seem to be reflecting that at the moment.

I went shopping with my mum after work. I need to get a new work skirt as the one I've been wearing is twisting round and getting too long (it keeps dipping down as there is less tummy to hold it up!). I bought a size 16 from Evans. Unfortunately, it is still a bit too small - actually it is very too small!! I got it on - JUST - it is skin tight! I've decided to keep it so I can use it as a gauge for my weight loss. I will try it again when I've lost another half a stone and see if it is any better.

This week seems to be endless - I can't wait for the weekend!!

Learning curve!

Had a bit of a funny day with Bertie today - he's not a happy chappie!

I think the problem is that I am quite stressed - I didn't realise what it was at first but, when I think about it, there is a lot going on for me at the moment with the house purchase, the things going on at work and having some stuff done on the house I am living in at the moment. I'm not sleeping very well (look at the time of this post!!) and it is all catching up with me a bit.

Bertie was very tight this morning, it took me three hours to eat a small banana! I then had a jacket potato and cheese for lunch which went down well but I thought I was going to PB within 5 minutes. Then tonight, I had a bowl of chunky soup. Just gotta keep taking the fluids and hope it will settle down in a day or so.

No developments on the house today.

Still alive ...

Although you might be forgiven for thinking not!! It has been a busy old few days and I am sitting here absolutely shattered!

Friday was a hellish day at work, I've been put 'at risk' of redundancy! What brilliant timing! I'm not too worried as being an HR bod I know it is a formal process. The situation is that currently there are five of us working on my team, one person at the level above me, one at the same level as me and two at the level below me. The job we do is going but is being replaced by four roles, one at the level above me and three at my level. I have been advised that, barring some unforeseen situation, me and my colleague who currently work at that level will move across to those roles and the two ladies working at the level below will have to apply for the promotion into the final position. It is just unsettling because a) it hasn't been confirmed and b) someone on the team is going to be made redundant and that is never nice to be involved with.

So on Friday night my boyfriend suggested that I go over and go out for curry with him and his mates which was lovely - it is nice to just forget about all the horrible stuff.

On Saturday I vegged out while he was working and when he got home we came back to my house. It was a bit confusing as we were supposed to be going to some friends for dinner but I hadn't heard anything from them. I would have called but I saw my friend three weeks ago and mentioned it. She appeared to have forgotten about it at first and then said oh yes, it's still on. But we didn't set a time so I was expecting her to ring or text me. I didn't like to contact her again as I thought she'd forgotten and didn't want to appear to be hassling her or making her feel awkward. So we stayed in, then at 8.45 we got a call asking if we were still coming - I felt dreadful! Looking back now, I should have texted her but I just didn't want to appear to be keeping on. Fortunately, she is a good friend and has been fine about it but I hate it when things like that happen. I also know how much trouble you go to when someone is coming to dinner.

The house is ticking along, they have charged us for the valuation so that must be happening soon if not already done. The solicitor called today and says we will probably need to get together towards the end of the month to go through things and start talking about a completion date - whohoo!!

We went looking at bathrooms and kitchens yesterday, just to see what's about. It is so exciting. I have a pile of brochures from B&Q, Homebase and Wickes - if only I had endless money ....!!!

Weight seems to be maintaining, I definitely have restriction. Unfortunately, the tin of Roses in my cupboard seemed to fall open over the weekend - the tape just unwound itself, honest!! I think I'm over them now!

Another one bites the dust!

And another one gone!! I was still down that pound this morning so it is official! It did dip down another pound yesterday but I think it was just a blip and I wasn't seriously expecting it to stay off. Whohoo, Bertie is the man!!

Things have got back to normal after Tuesday. I had my scan done in the afternoon and the doctor thought she could see a cyst on one of my ovaries which could be what is causing the problem. I have to ring my GP in two weeks for the results. To be honest, it would just be good to know what is causing the pain as it is quite frightening when it happens.

Nothing happening on the house front - all this waiting drives you mad!! I just want to get on with it now and start planning my new bathroom!

Steady on Bertie!!

I was down another pound this morning - I know, I should have made it a resolution not to stand on the scales everyday but what can I say!! I only need to lose another 2 pounds to tip into the next stone mark which will be a real milestone as I haven't been below this stone mark in about 3 years!! I haven't adjusted my tracker because it is not my official weigh day yet. I'll do it on Thursday, if I still have something to adjust - I've come to learn that weight investments can go up as well as down!!!

I'm off work today. I had another episode of low stomach pain in the night - 2.26am to be precise!! It was agony, I was quite frightened particularly since it has been four or more months since the last episode and I thought whatever was causing it had resolved itself. I saw the Doctor at 10 this morning and he has sent me for a scan which I can get done this afternoon. It is an internal one which is a bit scary but apparently they give the clearest picture of what is going on. Can't complain at the speed of the scan, I thought I'd have to wait weeks being on the NHS. Mind you, the results can take a week or two to come through. I am absolutely exhausted, I don't think I got back to sleep until after 4 and then I was having very weird dreams.

Another step along the way ...

The mortgage has been approved subject to the valuation! YIKES - it is really happening!!!

I'm hoping the valuation can be done within the next week or so and then we can get a move on.

OMG - I can't believe we are getting so close!!!

Christmas has officially gone!

My Christmas weight has gone, I stood on the scales this morning and I weigh the same as I did before all the Christmas madness started!

I am thrilled (as well as a bit shocked!!) as I haven't really done anything to shift it, I guess Bertie is doing his stuff!

A quiet start to the year.

Nothing much to report. We had a quiet new year, which was lovely.

New Year's day was very quiet, my boyfriend was working and I caught up on some rest. We spent the evening with his friends having a meal and then were both in work yesterday.

I'm going over to his later as he is working this morning/afternoon and I expect we will have a quiet evening in.

The joint account for the mortgage has been opened, so things are moving along nicely. I am hoping that the survey will be done next week and once that is done, things should be able to move along quickly.

My weight is still a pound over my pre-Christmas weight but I am happy with that. Things have calmed down now so I expect it to come back down accordingly.

All in all, I'm feeling mellow and chilled out. That may all change in the weeks to come - I shall have to look back on this post to remember that life can be calm!!

New Years Resolutions

I'm not really one for making resolutions - I get too depressed when I break them!

However, this year I am going to try to work more with my band to see if I can speed things along a bit. I am going to try to make more healthy choices in my food and plan/prepare my food in advance - I am very guilty of eating on the run which is not good as I tend to go for convenience rather than healthy. I am not going to consider another fill until after my birthday which is at the end of January but I may go for a little top up in February, depending on how things are going.

Other than that, I think 2009 is going to busy enough for me so I am just hoping I have the stamina to cope. I hope that this time next year, we will be in our new lovely house and that we will have done the first stages in our transformation plan!

I hope 2009 brings all you want!