Mamma Mia!!

I weighed this morning and I am down one pound from last week's weigh in (but a pound heavier than i was on Monday). At least "officially" I am going in the right direction!

I am glad that I have booked my first fill as I definitely think I need some restriction.

Off subject - I went to see Mamma Mia with my mum today, it is such a feel good film. I've seen the stage show several times and absolutely love it (its my fav!) so I was a bit dubious about how the film would match up. I have to say, my preference would still be the stage show but the film is brilliant and you can't help but sing along. I can't wait to buy the DVD.

Mixed feelings ...

After all my optimism yesterday, my weight went up a pound this morning!! I know, I shouldn't check it so often but I don't really count it until Wednesday so I will see what it is tomorrow and then put the scales out of reach!!

However, I really don't have a lot of restriction with the band - I went out with the girls from work tonight and was able to eat a whole pizza (mind you I was full after and didn't want a pudding - see previous post for the significance of that!!!!). At the moment, I have to consciously stop myself when actually I know I could eat more without being sick. I want to stop much earlier and know that there will be dire consequences if I don't!!! That may sound weird but I know if there is a payback, I will do the right thing!

So ... after saying yesterday that I wouldn't book my fill just yet, I have gone and done the exact opposite!!!! I have booked it for 16th August and now I am feeling a bit anxious! I'm not worried about the injection itself, just how it will be afterwards. On the flipside, I really want to start shifting the weight so I am excited to think it will get things moving.

Things are coming along!

I really think I am an awkward person!! I expected that as time would go on and I healed more from the operation, I would start to eat more but no, I have to be different.

I am finally getting the idea of this band - its only taken almost four weeks. I'm starting to think and pay attention to my body before I eat things. Yes, I can still overeat at the moment as my band is not restricting me too much, but if I pay attention I can tell whether I need to eat or not. I'm finding that whilst I can still eat quite a bit, it does keep me fuller for longer and I don't tend to eat between meals. I can't remember when I last had a bar of chocolate - don't get me wrong, I'm no saint but I can definitely see differences in my eating habits. More importantly, I'm not feeling deprived in any way.

I stood on the scales this morning and I've lost the pound I put on last week plus another one. This isn't official until Wednesday but I am rather pleased! If it carries on, I won't book my fill just yet because you don't need one if you are losing weight.

I've got a hell of a long way to go but I do feel I am going in the right direction - at long last!

Busy times!

Well, my feet don't seem to have touched the ground these last few days!

I worked late on Thursday and then a friend came over for dinner who I don't get to see very often. It was lovely although we opened a bottle of wine and as she was driving she only had one glass but it all seemed to go - not sure how that happened, but my head was sore the next morning!!

Friday was a manic day at work, I was working late again, then I went over to my boyfriends for the evening which was lovely.

Today, I've been out to lunch with my cousin, I had pasta but was only able to eat about half of it - this band does seem to be working at least a bit! Then tonight, my boyfriend and I went to look at a house that is for sale - only from the outside. It would be fab but it is out of our price range and needs a lot of work doing on it.

I've come back this evening, mainly to get on line!! I daren't use my boyfriends computer as he doesn't know about this blog - I haven't told anyone I know about it as I find it easier to express my true feelings anonymously.

I haven't weighed myself for a few days now - which is an improvement. I have had the band in for almost four weeks so I am going to ring this week to try to arrange my first fill - very exciting and quite scary!!

Newsflash!!

I'm not sure but I think the band may be working!!

I've just been out for dinner with two good friends, it was a lovely evening and went to a restaurant where we could sit outside which was great. Anyway, we shared some tapas for starters - not much. Then I had a small steak and chips with salad. I only just managed to eat that and I didn't dare try a pudding which the other two managed with no problem.

Normally, I would feel really cheated if I didn't have a pudding but I knew I was close to my limit and I didn't want to push it, so I had a cup of tea instead and didn't feel bothered in the slightest as I knew it was the right decision. Watch this space ...!!!

Same old, same old!

As I expected my weight loss was non-existent!! I actually put on a pound. I'm not too worried as I seem to be playing about with this pound, it comes off, it goes back on, it comes off, it goes back on!!! I think I really need to get my first fill organised and I plan to call the hospital within the next week to arrange it - I'll keep you posted.

I am experiencing a strange sensation at the moment, I feel like I've got a lump in my throat but I can't see anything. I'm not sure whether it is the start of a throat infection or whether it is related to the band - although I don't want to go down the road of blaming everything on the band! Will have to see how it goes, it's not affecting my appetite unfortunately!!

Phew - glad to be home!!

I know it's only Tuesday but I feel like I've done a week's work already!

I'm back from my whistlestop visit to Lytham, it was great to be out of the office but I had a total nightmare journey home. The M6 was closed between junction 12 and 10a which, considering I don't have sat nav and my road map was on my coffee table, gave me a bit of a headache! The message was flashing up as soon as I joined the motorway at Preston and I was hoping that it might have cleared by the time I got that far down but I got as far as Sandbach services and the radio updates were saying the congestion had reached junction 13 so I thought I should get off and see whether there was an alternative route. I spent 20 minutes on the phone to the office while a colleague tried to get me a route on the internet and then decided I should splash out the £4 to buy a new road map just in case I got lost with the directions! To cut a long story short a journey which should take 3 and a half hours took me 5 and I am shattered!!! I'm off to Basingstoke tomorrow but fortunately a colleague is driving!

I'm still feeling fine although I seem to have a niggling pain around my waist. I hesitate to use the word pain, it is more of an ache but it has been there since the operation, I notice it more now as everything else has settled down. It seems to be where the waist band of my tights sit and the waist of my skirt - I think it is probably a bit of internal bruising as I still have some marks.

Weighing day tomorrow, I'm not expecting miracles!!!

TGIF!!

It's here at last - I honestly feel like I've done a full week at work. I think it is more about having to be in a routine than for the amount of work I've done - although I have done some, honest!

There isn't much to report on the band front really. I think that is going to be the case for a while as things are pretty much back to normal for me - apart from the burping which is still an issue!! I can't have my first fill until mid August at the earliest so until then I think it is pretty much going to be a case of reporting how my weight loss is going. I will keep posting but I apologise now if it gets really boring and repetitive, I'll try my best to keep it lively!

Nearly the weekend - yay!!

I know I've only done two days at work but I am whacked!!! I think it is the early mornings and I am a bit of a night owl - as you might have guessed if you've noticed the times I tend to blog!

Nothing much to report today, my weight seems to have stabilised and I am going to try to resist getting on the scales every morning now - I said try, cos I know what I'm like!!!

I think I might be a bit like the scarlett pimpernell for the next few days! I hope to post tomorrow night but then I am spending the weekend at my boyfriends, back on Sunday night and then packing to go away with work overnight on Monday. I'm in Lancashire on Monday and Tuesday , home Tuesday night and then Basingstoke on Wednesday. I'm going to be exhausted but at least I won't have time to think about food, let alone eat any!!!

So, if you don't hear from me, I haven't forgotten you!!!

If you are thinking about getting a band ...

take a look at this website:

http://www.ukgastricband.co.uk

I only found it this week and I think it would have been a fantastic help pre-op. They also have a section for people thinking about gastric bypass.

It is still useful to me now as there are quite a few people on there who have had bands around the same time as me.

Tired bunny ...

First day back at work today and I'm bushed! It was great to be back and everyone was really kind and glad to have me back - which is always nice!

It's official, I have put back on five of the pounds I lost. I am not too bothered about this as I think it is due to fact that the weight came off because I wasn't eating very much at all and now I am eating more - which obviously I have to do! Fortunately, it is going in the right direction again - on Monday I'd put six pounds back on. I am only counting it as an 'official' weigh-in on a Wednesday because I am working in weeks since I started the yummy yoghurt diet.

Back to life, back to reality!

Well, the party is over and I return to work tomorrow after two weeks off. It will also be two weeks since my operation - how time flies!

I'm really looking forward to getting back to work - having only been in the job two months, I still enjoy it immensly and it will be nice to get back to some normality.

Everything has settled down now and I almost feel like nothing has happened. I can eat pretty much normally so I'm hoping that being back at work will keep me busy and enable me to start losing weight - at least the gaining seems to have stopped. I won't know for sure until tomorrow when I weigh but I've had a sneaky peek and I weigh a little less than I did on Monday morning and I usually lose a pound or two over night.

I've had a lovely day today, two of my close friends got married. These are the friends who introduced me to my boyfriend - so, for that and lots of other reasons, they are really special to me. It was a very low key ceremony (its second time round for both of them) and then we went for a lovely Turkish meal - I've not been to a Turkish restaurant before and I was a bit apprehensive but it was fabulous! My boyfriend and I were the only non family there and they were limited to parents only so it was a very small affair.

I'm off to bed, must get a good night's sleep!

Oh dear!!

You know the saying, what goes up must come down? I think I got it wrong, in my case what goes down can very well go back up again!!! I've managed to put on some of the weight I lost!!

I think this has happened for a very good reason, I lost a lot of weight very quickly because I was eating next to nothing so now that I am able to eat more or less normally (more on that in a minute!) the weight is coming back. I'm sure I read somewhere during one of my many diet attempts that if you don't eat enough, your body will go into starvation mode and any food it gets will be stored immediately - one day I put a pound on when all I'd eaten all day was a bowl of porridge and a bowl of soup!!! So far, of the 11lbs I lost, I've put 6 back on - whoops!! I'm sure this will sort itself out, particularly once I am allowed to have a band adjustment - which is at least 4 weeks away!

Having said all this, I have noticed a few small differences in my food consumption. Whilst I can, more or less, eat most things I am stilll being quite careful. It is still important that I don't make myself sick.

On Friday, I felt I deserved some chocolate - I hadn't had any for three weeks! I bought a small bar of dairy milk which I could normally eat without even registering it - I managed to eat four chunks when my mouth started to taste a little odd. As I was driving to my boyfriends at the time, I did not think it was wise to risk any more in case I ended up with it in my lap.

Then on Friday evening, we went out with some friends for a curry. I was a little apprehensive about this as it was the first time I'd eaten out properly with a group of people since the op and especially since only my boyfriend knew I'd had the band. I was quite hungry by the time we got our food and normally I could polish off a curry without too much of a problem, I managed just over half of it. I started to struggle and certainly did not want it to make a reappearance so I stopped - it was difficult because I was really enjoying it. However, once I stopped it was fine - sometimes I think we eat out of habit and because it is there. It was a little strange not being able to have a beer or a coke with my curry and when we went to the pub afterwards I had to be careful about what I ordered but it was fine. The next day my boyfriend was moaning that he hadn't slept because he'd been too full - I'm sorry to say I did feel a little smug!!!!

Retail Therapy

I know it is a strange, female phenomenon, but retail therapy really does work!

I'm feeling much more like my old self today. I had a few hours shopping at the local mall with my mother. Unfortunately, I was shopping for presents for other people but it still made me feel better!

It was just nice to be out and about and not thinking about food or whether anything hurts! I was lucky in so much as I managed to find the things I needed quite easily which isn't always the case. I eyed up some new clothes. There is no point in buying anything at the moment but it was nice to think that soon I will be able to buy clothes in practically any of the shops - I haven't been able to do that for years!

I even managed to eat some lunch out, only a jacket potato but it made me feel 'normal'.

All the odd feelings seem to have disappeared and I no longer think I can feel the band in place. The only draw back at the moment is I seem to be able to burp for England (not very ladylike, I know!), I really hope that it's just a passing phase!!

I'm off to spend the weekend at my boyfriend's tomorrow so I probably won't be able to post again until Sunday/Monday.

Food, glorious food!

Today I am allowed to start eating normal textured food - oh joy!!!

I've been quite cautious, I had some crackers and cheese for brunch and I've just eaten two fishcakes with tomato ketchup - very tasty. It has gone down quite well. It is nice to feel as though I have something in my stomach as at times I've felt empty but not able to eat which can leave you feeling a bit sick. Now that I can eat normal textured food, it should stay in my stomach a bit longer and leave me feeling more satisfied.

It's funny how this operation has changed my attitude to food - I'm sitting in front of the television watching some adverts. It is surprising how many of them are for food and most of them just don't appeal at all - in fact they are making me feel a bit ill! I'm not sure if this is a permanent change or just due to me feeling a bit tender still.

I've certainly found that I am not eating anywhere near the same quantity of food I would have prior to the operation and I am not feeling particularly hungry. Which, obviously, is good! At present, I am not expected to lose weight. The band has only been put in place, it has not been inflated at all yet. Weight loss is not expected until the band has been inflated, although it does often occur beforehand. The band won't be inflated until at least 6 weeks after the operation. This is to ensure that everything has settled down and healed properly. So, I'm expecting my first fill towards the end of August.

Computers *?%*!$!

I'm back on line after 48 hours without an internet connection - you just don't realise how much you use the internet until it's gone!

Since my last post, I've managed to eat a bit more - which is fab! My current favourite is well mashed potato with a little bit of grated cheese mixed in - yummy!! I've also got to be a dab hand at making banana and honey smoothies which are really tasty! Tomorrow I can start trying to eat 'normal' food - I'm planning to have fish in cheese sauce with mashed potato - I'm tasting it already!

I was able to take my dressings off yesterday which did make me feel a bit sick! It was fine and the incision scars look amazing, I think it was just the thought that made me feel queasy.

I'm moving about quite well without any pain to really speak of. I do feel a little odd in the stomach area but I am putting that down to being aware of the band being in place and everything still being tender. It doesn't hurt but I feel a bit strange - if that makes sense! It feels like I've got a bit of indigestion but I've managed to start burping a little (sorry to be gross!) so hopefully that will pass.

All in all, I feel fine. The weight is coming off, as of this morning I've lost 11lbs in two weeks which is amazing. I know this will slow down but it's great to get such a good start. My secret goal is to get three stone off before Christmas (not so secret now!!) and it certainly looks as though that will be possible.

Feeling more like me!

I'm feeling much more positive today - maybe because I've been able to eat a few morsels!! Actually it is probably more to do with the fact that I've been able to get out and about so I feel more like myself.

I managed to get quite a good night's sleep which I'm sure is also making a difference. I prefer to sleep on my side so it wasn't too comfortable having to sleep on my back but last night I managed to get comfortable on my side which was heavenly!!

I was awake at 8.15 because I have to inject myself with an anti-blood clotting drug once a day between 8 and 9am - not something I was anticipating having to do! It isn't too bad really, the needle is very fine so you hardly feel it although the drug really stings for a few moments when it goes in.

I was able to have a shower and wash my hair, which always makes you feel better.

I managed to go out for an hour or so which made me feel a bit brighter.

I have also managed to eat some food. I've had half a tin of tomato soup which tasted like nectar!!! I also had some instant porridge made with extra milk so it was quite runny and went down quite easily. I also managed half a pot of creamy pudding. I'm feeling a little hungry now so I may have a bit of jelly before I go to bed.

I feel a lot happier about having the band - I think the operation was a bit of a shock which made me feel less confident in my decision but now that everything is settling down my confidence is coming back.

I also checked the scales again (I'll stop soon but it is all so exciting at the moment) and I was down a further pound this morning - whohoo!!!

Back in the saddle!

I'm back!!

The operation went very smoothly and I have had very little pain. The only pain relief I've had since the op is paracetamol on the evening for a headache which was probably down to dehydration.

We arrived at the hospital at 7am and I was in my room by 7.15. It was all very low key and laid back until one of the nurses said you're booked in theatre for 8am and all of a sudden it was bedlam!! Probably just as well, didn't give me much chance to get the jitters! I'm not sure what time I was actually put out but probably about 8.15 and I woke up in recovery at 9.20. I was back in my room at 10.

I can't quite put my finger on how I feel, I have to say that having gone through the operation it is very important that people don't go in to this lightly. It is an operation and effectively you are making changes to an otherwise healthy organ. I am anxious as to how things are going to work out over the next few months. Everything has gone exactly according to plan so far, so I have no reason to feel anxious other than my normal worrying! At the moment, I am feeling a little tender and I am quite cautious about eating or drinking anything even though I am hungry. So far, I am only allowed clear fluids and jelly and I am struggling a bit with them!

The coming weeks/months are going to be interesting!

On the weight loss front, I lost 6lbs on the yummy yoghurt diet and I have updated my ticker tracker at the bottom of this page accordingly. Since going in to hospital, I've lost a further 2lbs so all going to plan - I should be feeling a lot more positive, lets just hope I've got the post-op blues and they go away quite soon! I'm sure I'll feel better once I've managed to eat something!

D-Day minus 1

Here it is, my final post pre-band!! I am feeling quite calm, I really just want to get it over and done with now.

I'm still feeling a bit tender after yesterday so I am a little worried that I might rock up tomorrow and they'll say I can't have it done - believe me, I don't normally throw tantrums but .... I might not be able to stop myself! I'm still not sure what happened yesterday, I can only imagine it was my body's reaction to the restricted diet. I haven't eaten much today, I really cannot face another yoghurt or fromage frais. I will eat another one before I have to start my fast at 10pm as I won't be able to have anything other than fluids until Saturday at the earliest.

I have had a lot of support from people around me. Work have been brilliant, I'd booked two weeks holiday - I've only been in my job two months so didn't want to take the mickey by going sick - my boss emailed me today (she works in an office 200 miles away!) to say that she feels I shouldn't have to use all my holiday for this so she wants me to take one week holiday and one week paid leave. I didn't argue!!! It was so nice as it was totally unexpected. My colleagues have lent me books and DVDs to amuse me while I recouperate and even gave me a good luck card - I feel very lucky to work with such a great team.

I'm not sure when I will be able to post next. I am in hospital overnight tomorrow and should be home on Thursday afternoon. I will post as soon as I feel able and can get to the laptop!!